The Euphemism Lexicon

Over time, any group of people and friends starts to develop its own set of euphemisms and textual substitutions.

Here are some of ours.

  • home friendship appliance -- a sex toy. I forget where we ran across this one -- somebody in the blogosphere was saying it sounded like a fine example of Japanese-produced English -- but we like it and made it our own.
  • network performance testing -- a common sysadmin term for "staying late and playing games on the work network." Stephanie got very mad when she found out what this meant one time I came home at midnight from Premier1 after a long bout of Quake 2.
  • overdue personal issues -- a polite notification from one spouse or partner that the other is expected to spend some serious time in bed with them soon (usually that evening).