Illuminatea

No, just the Doctor

Devin — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 20:47:00 GMT

After looking at a lot of options, Alaric has decided that he wants to be the ninth Doctor for Halloween. This is good for us -- it's a simple costume, in theory, especially since I've already got a sonic screwdriver prop I can lend him. The Ninth Doctor has very simple clothing, especially compared to some of the earlier versions, and beats trying to put together a "Vader's Apprentice" or "Master Chief John 117" costume. However, finding a suitable jacket for an affordable (I'm thinking $15-20 here) price is going to be the challenge.

Anyone out there got good ideas of how to get a suitably sized jacket (boy size 10; men's small is too large) for the boy in time, in an affordable range? It doesn't have to be an exact match.

Feel free to forward this plea for help on.

Bad Nick

Devin — Sun, 21 Sep 2008 23:20:00 GMT

Nick has done a very bad thing. He bought me Star Wars: The Force Unleashed for the Xbox 360 as a late birthday present. After the stress of this last week, studying for (and passing) the Microsoft 70-237 and 70-238 exams (two-thirds of the Microsoft Certified IT Professional - Enterprise Messaging certification; I passed 70-236, the third, back in March), this led to a couple of enjoyable hours getting to wander through some very lush Star Wars locales and wreak havoc with lightsaber and Force powers.

This may have de-throned Call of Duty 4 as my favorite Xbox game.

WTF? FTW!

Devin — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 21:51:00 GMT

On my drive into work this morning, one of the local radio stations played "November Rain" (Guns n Roses) "Rock Me Amadeus" (Falco) back to back.

That's some serious musical whiplash. That's like having bacon-caramel pie. I like bacon, and I like caramel, but not together.

Empty hand

Devin — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 05:57:00 GMT

In my previous post, I talked about taking a class at the local YMCA. You may have noticed that I didn't mention which class I was taking; that wasn't by accident. I didn't feel like talking about it until I knew it wasn't going to be another fad.

Well, last Tuesday, sensei awarded me my 9th Kyu blue belt, so now I feel comfortable announcing that I've been taking Okinawan Shorin-Ryu Matsumura Karate for the past couple of months. I started it in the beginning of July, the same week of personal vacation that the kids started their summer introduction class. Since that time, I've lost 20 pounds -- desperately needed -- and have started to gain some measure of confidence that I can do this. I'm no prodigy, but I can plod step by step really well, and I'm already seeing huge benefits to my physical coordination.

More importantly, I've discovered three very important things about myself:

I am no longer afraid of pain. I walk into every class knowing that the workout is going to wipe me out and that it's going to, on some level, suck eggs. I am always right -- I'm badly winded, have sore muscles, and more than once have been so dizzy I almost passed out. Yet I keep coming back for more, and I've finally gotten to the point that my brain isn't desperately trying to find excuses for skipping class.
Somewhere along the way, I've started to internalize the philosophy of "one step at a time." I haven't really dwelt on the whole "Devin with a black belt" thing, because that's a heck of a lot of work and is way beyond my capabilities now. Heck, being asked to test for my blue belt was a surprise (albit a pleasant one). Our dojo teaches that it's discourteous to ask sensei if you're ready to test; he knows when you're ready and will tell you. For the first time in my life, I have absolutely no difficulty in following that advice. I really do not look beyond what sensei tells me to do in a given class; I'm content to work on that and trust sensei to keep track of the big picture. (For my autistic self, this is a HUGE step.)
Probably the biggest one: I enjoy this. It's probably one of the most physically demanding things I've ever done. I've spent hours of time at home slowly walking through each phase of the simplest technqiues. A simple step-double punch technique is really hard for me, because it involves coordinating so many things -- hand positions, feet placement, breathing, wrist rotation, proper fist alignment, and more. I don't find this stuff at all easy, and now I have lots of things to keep track of. My response is to treat it like choreography for theater -- break it down into small components and practice each of those. Unlike dancing, though, when I put the pieces back together, the results aren't laughable -- and I'm totally enjoying the process.

Since the classes are at the YMCA and not a dedicated dojo, things are relatively informal. We're tied in with several other dojos in the area (most of them also in YMCA facilities nearby) and are part of a bigger federation. The teachers and students are all great; very supportive and not at all competitive or dismissive. I don't feel ashamed for letting my health slide for so long; I just feel like I have help in going where I want to go. I've gotten to the point where I look forward to each class.

The beatings shall continue until the anatomy improves

Devin — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 06:20:00 GMT

One of the reasons I've been a lot quieter on the blog front for the past month is Call of Duty 4 (actually, let's be honest; that's one of the ways I've chosen to spend a lot of my free time since Christmas). However, at the beginning of July, I added a new reason: I started taking a class two days a week at the local new YMCA.

This class has been kicking my butt, but it's been good for me. Our main teacher -- we'll call him PT -- is a doctor and can't always be there. If that happens, we have a backup teacher (named ST). Over the past couple of weeks, I've seen a lot of ST, and his warmups usually have me breaking a good sweat. Well, PT was back tonight...and oh my GOODNESS, he is a LOT more grueling. I actually got dizzy and had to step out for a minute. My shoulders hurt, my legs hurt, my arms hurt, all in that "OMGWTF you did WHAT to us???" way that really lazy muscles get.

I do not like this. I do not like barely having enough energy to drive home, eat, and make it through a shower. I do not like being this out of shape. It seems that PT doesn't like it either, and he's determined to help me fix all these things. It's a good thing I'm tired of being slothful and rotund; I know that, left to my own devices, I would never drive myself this hard. The class is small and I like the other students, enough so that my poor body image is outweighed by my desire to not look like a complete wuss in front of these people. And they have been very helpful and supportive.

I guess I get to continue this course of action. The only way out: make there be less of me, so that it doesn't hurt so bad when PT gets his hands on me. I've even started noticing that I'm cutting down on the snacks and treats at work and at home -- I look at them and find myself thinking about how they're going to make PT's next workout that much harder.

Yay for progress?

Important safety tip

Devin — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 23:49:00 GMT

If you're already having the kind of day where you feel a bit dizzy, and you're walking through the parking lot at your place of employment after coming back from lunch, do not under any circumstances close your eyes for any reason.

No, I didn't fall, but I should have.

LJ random quote meme

Devin — Sat, 24 May 2008 01:20:00 GMT

One of my friends on LiveJournal posted a meme. Now, I'm normally not the kind to participate in various memes, but I like this one: go here and pick out five random quotes that somehow resonate with you (keep going until you find the right five), then post them. Here are mine:

If you want to catch something, running after it isn't always the best way.
Lois McMaster Bujold, "Borders of Infinity", 1989
Avoid the crowd. Do your own thinking independently. Be the chess player, not the chess piece.
Ralph Charell
Forgiveness does not always lead to a healed relationship. Some people are not capable of love, and it might be wise to let them go along with your anger. Wish them well, and let them go their way.
Real Live Preacher, RealLivePreacher.com Weblog, July 7, 2003
Women and men have to fight together to change society - and both will benefit... Partnership, not dependence, is the real romance in marriage.
Muriel Fox
Never tell evil of a man, if you do not know it for certainty, and if you know it for a certainty, then ask yourself, 'Why should I tell it?' Johann K. Lavater

Your turn! I'm pondering whether I should tag anyone specifically; it only seems appropriate to do so as an appropriate evolution off of LJ. If I were to tag anyone, I'd tag Stephanie, Paul, and someone who claims to be not so clever (but lies).

Silly

Devin — Tue, 13 May 2008 20:45:00 GMT

Steph alerted me to the existence of a very cool product -- a dock for Macbook Pro laptops that stands them vertically. This has two advantages: saves desktop space and promotes better cooling. Macbook Pro machines are industrious heat generators and you have to be really careful about what kind of surface you leave them on. I've found that mine will shut down or have BSODs (when running Windows) if I have it flat on a plastic or formica surface; wood seems to be okay. The best bet, though, is to put it on a little stand that elevates the rear of the laptop and allows air to cool the underside. So, yes, I was really keen to check this out.

What I found, however, was this dreck. I have to admit that it's a very sweet piece of machined aluminum; very pretty, matches the look of the Macbook Pro. However, this is not a dock; it's a stand with delusions of $305 grandeur. This is a dock; note the integrated plugs. That handy little lever at the top moves all of the plugs into matching position on the sides of the Macbook, allowing you to quickly and easily put the laptop in place and make connections (and here's the important bit) without having to manually plug and unplug all of the various cables you're using every time you put the laptop in or take it out. It's not as sexy, and it takes up more desk room (quite a bit more, which is one of the reasons I don't have mine actually in use yet), but it's functional.

That other block of aluminum? That's designer silliness. Sadly, I bet far too many Mac folks will fall for it.

Edit: okay, looking closely at the Balmuda page shows that they never call it a dock, simply a stand. Kudos for them -- however, it makes the price tag even more mind-boggling. Razzes to Apartment Therapy Unplugged for the mis-identification.

Vanity Fair, Miley Cyrus, and Disney

Devin — Sat, 03 May 2008 20:14:00 GMT

Man. Just shoot me now, because not only am I about to blog about Miley Cyrus, I'm about to defend her.

Yup, that's right. I, as a parent of a girl about to be a teenager, am willing to go on record and defend the already infamous photo shoot which has been characterized as the result of villainous Vanity Fair exploiting a minor to sell magazines.

What in the world can I be thinking?

Well, for starters, her parents and other advisors were on the set with her. There's another picture from the same shoot that's also drawing a lot of ire -- one person I read described it as a "disturbingly erotic photo...like one of those old Calvin Klein ads, except with incest" -- showing Miley reclining on the lap of her father, Billy Ray. I've seen the picture; I think it's disturbing, but not because it's somehow evoking incestuous thoughts. No, I just don't like Vanity Fair's visual style; they have this uncanny way of taking normal people and making them look alien. They reduce people to cold, otherwordly icons, rather than capture whatever it is about them that makes them human. All the kerfuffle about this picture is, in my mind, predicated on the growing bias and backlash towards males, the same socially acceptable prejudice that allows airlines to reseat male passengers who are sitting next to unaccompanied minors.

He's her father, y'know? By all accounts, he's a damned good one. He's involved with her career; he's got a good reputation for not just being a co-star on her Disney show, but for being a parent. I've never even heard a whiff of accusation against him before now, so why is it all the sudden acceptable to characterize a picture of a father and daughter as "incestuous"?

Oh, that's right. Because this particular teenage girl is owned by Disney. Shame on Miley for being a growing young woman who is just 3 years away from being a legal adult. Shame on Billy Ray and his wife for actually being strong parents who feel entitled to make decisions on Miley's behalf even if they don't always correspond with Disney's interests. Don't they know that they should have just ceded control of her career and future over to Disney? Disney would have preserved her in amber to make sure she never displayed even a hint of sexuality (with one or two exceptions noted below) until the day she turned 18. That strategy has worked so well for so many other Disney youth -- Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, and Hayden Panettiere come to mind. They're all healthy young ladies who have a responsible outlook on what it means to be an adult in an industry that promotes people based on their inner qualities.

And let's be honest -- Disney doesn't appear want its stars to have any healthy sense of sexuality at all, even when they're older than 18. Look at the recent kerfuffle with Vanessa Hudgens, who was 19 when she had pictures taken that Disney disapproved of. This smacks of outright hypocrisy on Disney's part; they're aiming squarely at the tween and teen crowd, and you can bet that "I want to be just like ______" is a large part of their planned market appeal. Ever taken a close look at the Lolita-ish designs of the Hannah Montana clothing lines? Ever heard a group of tween girls giggling about how some Disney boy is so "hot"? (I have.) Heck, ever watched Miley's stage show? The choreography is blatantly sexual. This does not match the "clean-cut" appearance that Disney seems to want its actors to portray so they can play the "family friendly" card, but somehow, nobody at Disney publicly protests these displays.

I'm betting that the genesis of Miley's apology was just after Disney's PR people saw the Vanity Fair photos and freaked. By all reports, Disney lawyers earn their pay; they write tight contracts. I don't even pretend to have inside knowledge, but I'm guessing that Miley and parents weren't "embarrassed" by the photos until Disney informed them that they were displeased and that Things Must Be Fixed. Is Disney really outraged on behalf of Miley, or are they worried about her earning potential somehow being diminished?

Now, having said all that, would I allow my daughter to take those pictures? At 11, not just no -- hell, no! At 15, probably not. But then again, I wouldn't let my daughter get up on stage and dance some of the routines that Miley Cyrus dances, either. Is the Cyrus family wrong to let Miley do it? Tough question, but the answer is ultimately theirs, not mine. I'm not Miley's parent, I'm Treanna's parent. My job as a father -- and from all reports, Billy Ray seems to have this one figured out pretty well -- is to teach my kids how to be healthy, responsible adults. As humans, we learn best from a combination of positive and negative reinforcement; some of our best-remembered lessons come from our failures. As my kids grow older, if I can't extend them increasing amounts of freedom and larger opportunities to earn and display responsibility, I'm doing something wrong. I can't protect them from consequences, but I must do my best to teach them about consequences before they learn them the hard way -- and then if they make the wrong choices, I have to let them take those consequences and meet them appropriately. I suspect Miley's learning all sorts of unintended consequences from this photo shoot, one of which is, "Don't cross Disney."

Am I hot or not?

Devin — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 20:56:00 GMT

Stupid website, but it gives me a chance to taunt my co-worker Kevin. This morning I got a puzzled e-mail from him, asking me why this picture of me in Sydney from February (yes, that's Sydney, Australia; we were there for training for work) was the most-viewed picture in his online galleries (warning, probably not a worksafe gallery). I have no clue, but I think it's damned funny.

Kevin's a hard-core picture nerd; he's got a wireless card for his digital cameras that will automatically use any nearby open WiFi connection to upload pictures to his Web gallery. This means that on a trip he's usually got pictures uploaded before he gets back to his hotel, let alone before he gets home. That's pretty cool, even if (like me) you aren't inclined to take gigabytes of pictures everywhere you go.

A reality show I'd watch

Devin — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 20:05:00 GMT

On a break this afternoon with co-workers Jon, Kevin, and Ryan, the idea for a new reality show was born. I hate "reality" TV -- but I might watch this one.

It all started with Jon suggesting that it would probably be very entertaining to follow Wesley Snipes around prison, as he'd be likely to be jumping over tables and kicking drug dealers in the face. ("You're Wesley Snipes! What are you doing here?" "I killed vampires." "Cool!") Kevin chimed in with the idea of just putting cameras in and making it a reality show. Jon suggested adding Jean-Claude Van Damme to the mix. Ryan suggested that Christopher Walken needed to be in there somewhere, so I had to point out that he'd of course be the prison warden.

I also suggested that the show start immediately and run until December, just to give everyone an alternative to election nonsense. Oh, yeah, we'd get John McCain to host it.

Jon, bless his heart, has the perfect title: Snipe Hunt.

A few thoughts on email

Devin — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 16:18:00 GMT

Email clients need to be more intelligent. For example, I can appreciate the Request Read Receipt feature that Outlook/Exchange and other email systems offer; it makes sense in a corporate environment, or when sending correspondence with business partners. However, all bets are off once you starting emailing the Internet in general. Why, oh why, do Outlook and Exchange continue to be so clueless about these wonderful things we call mailing lists?

It wouldn't be very hard at all for Outlook to notice when a message I've received comes from a real mailing list; they have all sorts of wonderful headers (at least, they do if they're compliant with RFCs) that easily distinguish them. It should then automatically change its behavior in several key ways:

Stop sending read receipt requests to that address. It's really bloody annoying to be reading along a mailing list and suddenly get the read receipt request dialog in my face, and all it does is make me think that the sender is an idiot.
Stop sending OOF (out of office/out of facility) messages to that address. That looks even dumber.
Offer to automatically create a new folder and rule to manage future messages from this list.

Oh, and email users who set "request read receipt" as their default? Should. Be. Shot.

Dear iPod

Devin — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 00:22:00 GMT

Dear iPod,

Over the years that I've had you (as your second owner), we've had our rocky times. You've worked well with both my Windows and Mac workstations -- that's a plus. Your battery life is damn near useless (and I understand that's not really your fault), but with the appropriate adapter therapy we've been able to work around that. I hardly ever use you with headphones, but that iTrip is a righteous score that allows you to rock the car, the house, and any other FM radio within distance. True, you're only a 3G classic model, but you've got 40GB and I've never even come close to running you out of space. All in all, we've been good for each other. Today, however, was something entirely different.

I now, of course, realize that you picking Bon Jovi's It's My Life when I was driving home through Woodinville was really a message. But I didn't get that message until after we got on to 522 through the funeral procession and slowly drove by the column of funeral-goers. Just as we drew even with the hearse, you switched to Chumbawumba's Tubthumping. Specifically, you blared the following line out the open windows:

I get knocked down, but I get up again
You're never going to keep me down.

That, dear iPod? Total awesome.

I was thinking about getting a newer model, but now? Now we'll see what we can do to replace that no-good battery of yours. You've still got years of life left in you with just a little TLC from me. You, iPod, rock.

Love,

Devin.

Geeks will get this. The rest of you -- not so much.

Devin — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 20:52:00 GMT

All Hell is breaking loose in the Seattle area today because it's snowing.

Hello, people. We get a lot of rain here. This is the Pacific Northwest. There are real, honest-to-goodness volcanic mountains here (remember that lovely "view" thing you keep talking about to jack up your real estate?). Part of this means that during what is nominally known as "springtime" we get highly variable weather, including flurries of snow. This winter has been an unusually cold and wet winter, so the chances of us getting snow at the end of March are in fact higher (that is, 100%).

Here at work, we have big fat flakes mixed with rain, but the snow is not (yet) sticking like it is elsewhere in the Puget Sound (like the roads home, oh joy...) This led me to the following observation to a cow-orker: "It's not really snow, it's just rain with 64-bit extensions."

Too tightly wound to know how to react

Devin — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 17:38:00 GMT

This has not been one of the best weeks I've had. That's not to say it's been all fire and brimstone -- it hasn't been an Old Testament kind of week -- but the victories and good things have been few and far between. One of them happened last night; I passed a needed certification test on my first try.

I just got word that my grandmother died. This is a call I've been expecting and would suck, except for the fact that she's been on the decline for a long time, including pretty severe memory loss. My immediate reaction was, "Thank goodness, it's finally over." A year or two ago, I was planning on driving down to see her (even though I knew that she wouldn't recognize me or remember who I was) and was pretty much told flat-out by my family not to bother. This was after several years of not making time to get down to see her before everything had slipped away, or writing letters on a regular basis.

So, yeah, I'm glad that her decline (and, at the end, physical suffering) has come to an end, and I'm glad that the family members who've invested such dedication into her these past several years may finally have a chance to get some semblance of normalcy back in their life, but I also feel more than a little guilty for being so short-sighted. I have awesome memories of spending time with this woman back when I was a kid -- she was fun, full of fire and life, and the only one I know who played multi-hand Solitaire (or Uno) to draw blood. Yet I don't grieve for her now...because that woman already died many years ago. What left us today was her shell.

I don't know how I should be reacting right now.

Two minor things you may or may not know

Devin — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 13:10:00 GMT

For the record, Aly & AJ's Potential Breakup Song is one hell of an earworm, but it sounds really good on my work desktop's speaker/subwoofer. I've got it cranked up loud before anyone else gets here.

I have finally found out what is more annoying than getting your ass kicked online by a nine year-old kid -- getting your ass kicked by an eighteen year-old girl who keeps giggling over voice chat every time she gets a kill. I mean, damn, girl's got skills, but does she really have to be quite so vicious about it?

A letter to my bank

Devin — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 23:40:00 GMT

Dear Big-Ass Bank,

Many years ago, we switched our accounts to you from one of your competitors because they had crappy customer service and you did not. In fact, your customer service rocked our socks off. Sadly, it has become clear that you're more interested in trying to grab customers from other banks than you are in retaining your existing customers. In fact, you are consistently engaging in extremely short-sighted "cost-cutting" practices while other banks are rejecting those same practices because they lose customers.

As an example, your phone menus. I should not have to be the Amazing Kreskin to figure out how to get to live human with my question that does not fit into any of your carefully thought-out categories. I can accept having to type in my account number before I get to that live human, but what the fuck is this "Telephone Access Code" you're now requesting? How come I didn't get a nifty brochure in the mail telling me all about it and how it would help keep my personal information safe from big bad identity thieves? Please don't expect me to believe that you care about the environment, because you don't hesitate to send me all sorts of paper and brochures about other items.

And since I've brought up identity theft, I have to say that while I appreciate the thoughtful tips you printed on the back of the paper that my new debit card came with, I feel compelled to point out that it does no fucking good when you insist on using Social Security numbers as default settings for access codes, PINs, and pretty much any other type of verification question you think up. Come on, seriously people -- the SSN is one of the main targets for identity theft precisely because you idiots (and your fellow idiots in the financial verticals) insist on misuing the SSN as identification. Have you ever even looked at a SSN card? It says right on there in big fat type that the SSN is not to be used for identification purposes.

No, I don't care if everybody else does it. No, I especially don't care if it's convenient. I'm the customer here, not you; your convenience is second to my security. By misusing the SSN this way, you and other banks (and the credit agencies, and insurance companies, and pretty much everyone else who feels obliged to collect my personal data) have guaranteed that bad people want to steal that number -- it's the key that makes comprehensive identity theft even possible. Congratulations, you scallawags -- you've made it more convenient for the bad guys to get to my financial data than you have for me.

Thanks for nothing, bank. Please be assured that we will be looking over our options. It's clearly time for us to part ways; this relationship is no longer working for us. And yes, it's totally you -- not us.

Sincerely,

Devin L. Ganger

My son, the alien

Devin — Sat, 08 Mar 2008 01:34:00 GMT

We found out today that Alaric has a second set of armpits.

No, it's true. You and I would call them "elbow joints" but in Alaric's world, they're "second armpits."

Bet you didn't know that.

Gary Gygax, requiescat in pace

Devin — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 06:54:00 GMT

E. Gary Gygax died yesterday at the age of 69.

They say that anything you do more than once is tradition. I guess that mine is to offer the words written by Annie Lennox, Howard Shore and Fran Walsh, as sung by Annie Lennox, at the end of The Return of the King:

Lay down your sweet and weary head
Night is falling; you’ve come to journey's end
Sleep now and dream of the ones who came before
They are calling from across the distant shore
Why do you weep? What are these tears upon your face?
Soon you will see all of your fears will pass away
Safe in my arms, you're only sleeping

What can you see on the horizon?
Why do the white gulls call?
Across the sea a pale moon rises
The ships have come to carry you home.

And all will turn to silver glass
A light on the water; all souls pass

Hope fades into the world of night
Through shadows falling out of memory and time
Don't say "We have come now to the end"
White shores are calling; you and I will meet again
And you'll be here in my arms, just sleeping

What can you see on the horizon?
Why do the white gulls call?
Across the sea a pale moon rises
The ships have come to carry you home.

And all will turn to silver glass
A light on the water; Grey ships pass into the West

As I have no words of my own, perhaps this image will do:

in 160x120
in 320x240
in 640x480
in 800x600
in 1024x768
in 1280x1024

Feel free to download and use it; just please don't remove the copyright notice. Also, please feel free to share with others; please, though, just link them here instead of simply passing the files on. If you download it, I'd very much appreciate it if you'd leave me a quick comment.

New books!

Devin — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 22:02:00 GMT

WOrking on my latest book, Mastering System Center Data Protection Manager 2007, was a long process. However, Monday I got to experience my favorite part of the writing process -- getting the box from the publisher with the author's copies. There's just something cool about seeing the final physical product; I don't think I'll get tired of that feeling after my 20th, 40th, or even 100th book.

It's a good thing I have this memory to buoy my spirits; today has been a day jam-packed of small annoyances:

I was out yesterday with a migraine (neck was jammed in tons of different places), making me super pissy. Today seems to be a ramp back down from Pissy Devin, rather than a huge improvement.
Updating the sidebar of my blog (if you're reading this via RSS or LiveJournal feed, you won't see that sidebar) with the Amazon link was WAY harder than it really needed to be, involving having to reboot the damn blog server to get one little graphic to show up (iisreset didn't do the trick).
Getting my new wireless headset (which I won in Sydney at the training conference) working was, again, more of a chore than it really needed to be.

Here's hoping the day gets better.